Sonas: Holistic Health & Healing with Hart

I am choosing me!

As a student at The Institute of Integrative Nutrition to become a certified integrative health coach, I thought throughout the course of study that I was going to choose the career transformation plan as my capping project. I had my website all set, I had my space, my program vision and I was so excited to start helping others as their health coach. The Universe, however, has a sneaky way of interrupting the linear mindset. The saying, “Make plans and the Universe laughs,” rang true for me! I realized that to make the biggest impact on my clients I must be my first client. I wanted to be worthy of modeling and to do that I had some personal health coaching to do.

There is a philosophy in early education that I abided by as the director and educator at my forest kindergarten. As an educator you want to be worthy of modeling. When you’re with young children you’re not only there to facilitate learning in traditional subject areas in a safe environment, you are also there as a mentor and a model. Children see and hear everything and want to emulate you. It’s part of their developmental stage to try different ways of interacting in their world and I wanted to be sure that I was showing up for them as my authentic, real self. As such we were able to tackle anything that our days would bring with honesty, compassion and understanding.This is the same atmosphere I want to bring to my health coaching clients and actually this very blog is the beginning of that wish coming true.

The reason I feel I have more personal health coaching work to do is because I’ve been struggling with a schedule, routine, and rhythm since I sold my school almost two years ago; entering into a new phase of life-semi retirement. I found that I reverted to some old unhealthy ways (putting myself second/third..not eating what my body really needs; finding excuses and other activities that take me away from exercise and my life purpose). As I listened to a recent IIN webinar I was inspired to take a look inward and really start this health coaching journey with myself.

I already have a business and my website is live. All the things I do (art and spirituality womens circles) are there, but if I am not taking the best care of myself, how can I show up and ask my clients to live a healthy lifestyle? I don’t feel like I am walking the talk entirely. I learned during our time together at IIN that I have an autoimmune disease. There are many shifts and changes for me to contemplate and incorporate to be my best, healthiest self (gluten free, dairy free, old stories cropping up). I almost allowed old stories (stiff upper lip-don’t be selfish-get to work-your worth is determined by what you produce) to come into play and direct me away from me. I know now without a doubt that my health and well being must come first. That is a new way of life that I am fully embracing. I believe that this capping project of starting a blog about my health journey not only helps me in the present, but will also be something that I can bring with me in service to my future clients…and the world!

So here is a bit more of the nitty gritty that I am struggling with and the who’s and how’s of what I am proposing to myself as my first health coaching client. Not much has changed for me since I stopped teaching in early education, I have just shifted age groups…I still want to be worthy of modeling for my clients. But as I alluded to as I set out on the final leg of the journey to becoming an integrative health coach, I had a bit of imposter syndrome.

I knew I had ideas and answers on how to be healthy, but I wasn’t following those myself, so how could I possibly ask that of others? Then I realized, as my first client I am worthy of modeling because I’m living proof that I can make changes that are in the best interest of my health and well-being. I saw that I actually have a story that might be inspirational to other people who are struggling with some of the same things I am.

I am very self aware and have a passion for living a healthy lifestyle. I was excited to make incredible changes in my life after the sale of my school. I envisioned creating incredible meals that would be meeting all nutritional guidelines for my bio individuality, lifting weights and going on hikes; getting out in my community and seeing new places; hosting art and spirituality circles weekly… all the things! For a time I did do those things, but then I slipped into old patterns. I didn’t have a schedule. I didn’t have a daily rhythm. I started feeling grumpy, gained weight, I had body aches and started to feel glum. I knew I had to make a decision to get out of this old rut. I consulted with a new functional medicine doctor, I went to my acupuncturist (whom I had not seen in years), and I also went back to my myofascial release therapist. An interesting theme emerged.

All three women theorized that because of my nervous system being on constant alert ( I had described having a heightened startle reflex and a buzzing feeling in my body when I laid down to sleep), I was unconsciously feeling unsafe in the world. No wonder…past trauma, Covid, selling my passion project school, entering semi-retirement, becoming a grandmother, being an empath in a divisive world; so much change and upheaval; some good, some not so good-I could not find my balance. When one feels unsafe they want to be bigger to protect themselves and their family. I could not lose these extra 20 pounds no matter what! Interesting. Then my functional medicine doctor ordered an antibody test for an autoimmune disease called Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. Positive. Leaky gut- yes. Inflammation-yup. Cortisol loop anyone? Combining all the combatants in every body-physical, mental, emotional and spiritual-was a recipe for a less than ideal version of what I had pictured my healthy life to be.

So you may think this realization and diagnosis would spiral me deeper into the glum mood I described, but instead I felt determination! I liken it to an experience I had with a runaway horse some years ago, where I had to tilt my hips down and into the saddle, press my thighs in tight and hold on for dear life, so I wouldn’t be thrown! It was frightening and I did have some help getting that horse under control, but I did it. Now I have my helpers and my knowledge and determination to change so that I can heal my thyroid, heal my leaky gut, reduce inflammation and lose weight. I was actually relieved to get this diagnosis because it took away all the self blame and shame I was leveling at myself. Now I know that I am not lazy or undisciplined or all the other negative things I told myself. There were reasons my body was doing what it was doing and I had found people who heard me, could help me and who could help me help myself.

Now I am working on regaining a structure and rhythm to my days that allow flexibility and flow. I have an ebook in the works to show others the basic structure of my schedule with tips for living a healthy lifestyle. These are tips that work for me and I offer them as a guideline. You know what works best for you (you really do). But it is wonderful to have some assistance to get going, especially when you may be in a bit of a rut…it happens…even to health coaches 😉 When the ebook comes out I want people to feel free to change/edit my ideas to best suit their bio-individual needs. Above all I want everyone to remember that you are worthy simply because you exist!

This new found empowerment for my own health and the excitement to share it with others was bolstered by my coursework at IIN. I felt the far reaching impact of support and knowledge from IIN; a personal cheering section saying, yay you can do this! I also heard my own intuitive nudge to stay the course and get back into balance. I am determined to feel vibrant! I deserve to feel my best! I am worthy and so are you. It is not selfish to care for yourself. It’s not selfish to seek the answers you need and change things in your life that will make you feel better. It is not selfish to be gluten free if that is what makes your (my) body healthy – I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone or seem needy- These were my old stories and I needed to overcome them. I have to do what is right for me. I choose me. Who do you choose? What changes do you need to make so that you can be your healthiest, best self? How can I help? I am here. And I am worthy of modeling. So go live your Sonas lifestyle-soul deep happiness and be worthy of modeling too!